25 Lessons I Learned Before Turning 25...
7 years ago, I blew out the candles on my birthday cake while my closest friends and family sung "Happy Birthday Neque" in the tune of Stevie Wonder. As I reflect on my life then, I realize the validity to the saying "life is what happens while you are planning to live." At 18 years old, my view of the world was limited but my dreams knew no bounds.
Tomorrow, I turn to chapter 25 in the perfect storm called, "Life." And while my goal by 25 was to be an Engineer living in Atlanta with a small dog and a big house- life pivoted my direction to places I'd never dreamed were possible. Throughout my journey over the past 7 years, I realized that while life follows a plan- the plan isn't yours. It's filled with highs, lows, twists, turns, laughs, cries, and complete and utter chaos. And yet, that's what makes it beautiful.
For me, 25 commemorates far greater than my ability to rent a car and a decrease in insurance premiums. It represents a promise I made to myself long ago to "let all situations, good or bad, shape you but not define you." And with this same spirit of reflection, I present to you...
25 Life Lessons I Learned Before Turning 25
1. "Leave things better than you found them- that includes people and places too." Age 9, My Maternal Grandmother You never realize the impact you have on someone else's life. No matter what, always strive to leave a positive impression.
2. "Stop trying to make people like you. Half of the time, they don't even like themselves. You're amazing and don't need them anyway." Age 13, My Father Simply put, never put more energy into what others think about you. The most important opinion is your own. If you don't love yourself, who will?
3. "Remember who you are and whose you are. God's got you." Age 3, My Mother As you mature, people will try to label you and create a box. Continue to push the status quo and be true to who you are.
4. "A day without laughter or football is a wasted day." Age 5, My Maternal Grandfather My sweet sweet grandfather, this was before Beyonce'. No, seriously, find humor in your day. Laugh. Don't take yourself too serious!
5. "Always keep an open mind. You never know where life will take you." Age 16, My Paternal Grandfather My dear pop, it was this very advice that led me to move across the country away from my entire family. Keeping an open mind is important because change is the only true constant in life.
6. "Networking is one letter away from Not Working. Let that letter be an offer." Age 19, College Academic Advisor/Mentor You are as powerful as your network. Continue to build your army of Beyonce's.
7. "Make room for your gifts and one day your gifts will make room for you." Age 6, Sunday School Teacher Never spend 50-60 hours a week working for someone else and not make time for your own passions. Like seriously, don't do that fam! Take that cooking or trap yoga class, paint a painting, hike, create a blog! Discover your passions and make a decision to do more of what makes you happy every week.
8."Life isn't a fairytale, thats why you should enjoy the moments when it feels like it is." Age 18, Prom Night, My mother It is important to enjoy and document the moments you feel secure, beautiful, and confident. Share these moments with others and remember them on your rough days. I will never forget my prom night. My mother let me borrow her brand new infinity and I hit the town with three girlfriends and danced the night away. I loved my hair, my dress, but most importantly- I loved myself.
9. "Happiness is not for sale. The moment you place a price tag on your happiness is when you render your freedom." Age 23, Life herself Never equate happiness or success to any monetary value. We spend so much of our lives viewing our own happiness and self-worth as conditional. Happiness doesn't begin with a job offer, losing weight, or purchasing a home. Stop searching for happiness and create it.
10. "Sometimes you lose. You are never too good to lose." Age 17, Band Camp No matter how amazing you are, failure is inevitable. It is your job to not let that same failure define you. At 17, not being voted as drum major in the high school band was the end of the world. Years later, I realize it was that very failure that allowed me to explore other interests I wouldn't have time to had I been selected.
11. "They don't serve champagne at pity parties. No excuses!" Age 24, Personal Trainer Echoing lesson 10, it is imperative to avoid allowing fear to get to your heart at all costs. You've got a right to be mad- just don't stay that way. (Thank you Solange)
12. "Never ever ever give up." Age 9, Math Tutor No matter how difficult the task, don't give up on yourself. Rest if you must, but don't quit. Remember, it is all temporary.
13. "Make self-care a priority. Listen to your body and practice peace." Age 24, Life herself You cannot pour from an empty cup. Rest. Drink water. Use Coconut oil. Mind your business. But most importantly, protect your energy. Energy is transferrable. Be weary of the ways of the world. (Again, Queen Solange, Thank you.)
14. "In every ending, there is a beginning. Never be afraid to begin a new chapter." Age 23, Undergraduate Commencement
15. "Everything you lose isn't always a loss. Sometimes, you didn't need it anyway." Age 13, My Father Self-explanatory.
16. "Words mean things." Age 23, Crissle "The Read Podcast" Think about what you are going to say and how it makes your intended audience feel. Avoid projecting your suppressed feelings onto others by saying things you don't really mean in the heat of the moment.
17. "Now, stay woke" Age 23. Be aware of your world and make an effort to advocate for a cause closest to your heart. Stand up for what's right. And don't be an a-hole.
18. "Stop glorifying time constraints. No one is that busy." Age 24, life herself I admit I struggle with this. I'm horrible at texting and hate talking on the phone. Respond to emails, text messages- but most importantly, show up and be present.
19. "Establish a morning routine. Get up and be productive." Age 15, My mom Avoid sleeping in at all costs and seize the day. You'll be surprised how much you can accomplish before noon.
20. "Never settle for an answer you don't understand." Never let a question go unasked. And if you don't understand the answer, be empowered to push back until you understand.
21. "Ask for forgiveness and never permission." You are a gladiator. A titan. Never wait for a green light- unless you're in traffic.
22. "Even small wins- are WINS." Thriving and surviving the storm are wins. Beating a deadline is a win. Wearing your favorite outfit is a win. Look at you #winning and such!
23. "Travel. Spend your money on that trip." Life is about experiences. Try something new and take the trip you've been talking about. Be responsible of course- don't end up like Craig from Friday.
24. "Love yourself unconditionally, then love someone else." You cannot pour from an empty cup. (Lesson 13) You cannot truly love someone else until you love yourself.
25. "Start Now." Don't put it off. We are all guilty of procrastinating. Make the change. Take the plunge. Start now with fear. Just start.
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. it's about learning to dance in the rain."
